"Milk Fever & Cow Lifting"

"Thank's Res!"

Milk Fever and Cow Lifting.

"Res, I've got a cow down!"

My friend Leonard said,

"Show me, my friend!" said I,

And followed where he led.

Big black and white Friesian

Fallen and wedged quite tight

Behind the feeding troughs

And it was coming on for night!

"Milk fever?" I asked quietly

So as not to fright the cow

"Have you got the calcium in 'er?"

"Yes, I've just done it now!"

"Did you stick it in the milk vein?"

"No, just under the skin!"

"Damn, it'll take forever,

Milk vein's the place to whack it in!"

Though it wasn't Leonard's fault

But it really was a pain

With half a ton of cow on top

You couldn't reach the vein!

"Leonard we'll have to lift 'er,

But there isn't any space,

What have you got in the lifting way

That we can get into this place?"

"Well, I've got a pin-bone clamp,

That I picked up one time,

But nothing in the lifting way

That we can bring on line!"

"Come Leonard, I've seen scaffold poles

Out there in the scrap,

And sheave blocks and grain hoists

We can make something out of that!"

So we scat a hole up through the floor

Of the granary upstairs,

And built a sheer-legs out of poles

And collected pulley wheels in pairs.

Some rope from the bale trailer,

Threaded through the wheels

And we had a block and tackle

With a four to one lift deal!

So clamp clamped on the pin-bones

And filled with more than hope,,

Two husky sons and I began

To pull down on that rope!

"Oh Res, she's lifting nicely!"

Our Leonard he did say,

But her arse came up and her chin stayed down,

And then she stayed that way!

"No good, no good, no good!" I cried,

"Lower her down once more!

Gently now, don't let her drop!"

And we lowered her to the floor!

"We need another sheer-legs,

We need more rope and blocks,

Send a son to fetch back mine,

The one I use for moving rocks!"

So we built another sheer-legs,

Another hole in the granary floor

We made a sling for under her chest

And we start to lift her more!

This time she came up even

And we held her there a-while

But she wouldn't take her own weight

Not by a country mile.

"We need to massage her legs

To get some feeling back

But there just isn't room to work,

We'll have to lay her back!"

"No! No!" I said, "Let's tie her off,

Let's make a careful plan,

Let's cut some rollers and a door,

To lay her back upon!"

This we did, we cut some pipes,

We found a fine stout door

And arranged them underneath

Before we lowered her to the floor.

Now inch by inch we dragged her

Backwards on her door,

Until she popped, just like a cork

Onto the loose-box floor.

Ah now we would have room to work,

We let her rest just then.

No rest for us, we had to do

The whole job over again!

Two more holes up through the ceiling

Arrange the sheer-legs and the rope

The clamp, the sling, the blocks and all,

And start again with hope!

This time we raised her neatly

We were getting good by now,

We tied her off just dangling there,

And went to work on the cow.

We massaged each leg carefully,

She really did look sick,

We lifted them and flexed their joints

She was too tired to kick.

We built a wall of straw bales

To hold her up a while

And gradually slacked off the ropes

You should've seen Old Leonard smile.

We were also smiling

As we saw her take her weight

Another cow saved once more

From the Knacker-man's fate.

And in the lantern light we sat

Mrs L bought tea and scones,

Cow suckled calf, and Len and me

Were weary to our bones.

But satisfied and well pleased

With our labour on that day,

We'd earned a piece of heaven

As we went upon our way

Words Copyright © Res JFB 15th July 2008
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