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Sunday, 14 October 2012

"Gold Earring"

This poem contains swearing
If you are likely to be offended
Don't read it!

I have long been enamoured
Of the Greek Sailor's belief
Of wearing a Gold Earring
In order to pay the ferryman
For the journey across the Styx
It seems to indicate a preparedness
To face one's death
As willingly as one's life.

Cut to Market Jew Street
In Penzance.
The Cornish swear it has
Nothing to do with Jews
But me and the Rabbi
Have our doubts!

I always walk up and down
That street
About three inches off the railings
So no one will expect 
An Old Gimpy like me
To leap out of their way!

One day a Wee Blister of a man
Charged the three inch gap
Kicking my walking stick
Out from under me
And almost knocking me over!

He stopped and glared
About twelve paces beyond me.
"You haven't got any f***ing right
To be on this f***ing pavement
Waving that f***ing walking stick about
Like a f***ing nancy boy!"
He shouted at me!

I whispered a little Taoist prayer
For all the sexes
Girls, boys and hairdressers!
"I'll show him!" I thought
And went straight down to Warfside
And got myself
A Greek Sailors Gold Earring!
I was very careful which ear
They put it in!

Just wait till I see Wee Blister again
I thought.
"Oi! F***wit!" I'll cry.
"Look at my f****ing earring!
That's on the heterosexual side!"

But I probably won't!
When you find some arse
Down in a hole
Covered in sh*t,
What's the point
Of jumping in there with him?

But at least I'm ready
To face the ferryman
And anything else
That life or death
Or any Wee Blister
May throw in my direction!

Copyright © Res JFB 14th October 2012
This is a true story.
Top Picture © Chloe Beth Graham
I don't usually wear the Tibetan Prayer Wheel
along with my earring but I thought it
would make the photo-shoot a
little more interesting.